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Sebastien's avatar

I've never read "A Christmas Carol", so I followed your advice and did it last night. Put warmth in my heart, thanks.

I think it’s safe to say all of us do not agree with all our family. Hell, most of us barely agree with our parents! But what is Christmas if, as you elegantly put it, a special day? Almost an esoteric day, even. A day to make tabula rasa of all past deeds and for at least a few days, make peace with those closest to us. Maybe it’s not always a new beginning, but a sacred time to pause and reflect. Like those snowballs globes with a joyful scene fixed in time that we forget in a corner of the house until it’s the holidays and we remember to shake them one more time and let the magic snow inside.

Whatever your hardships, whatever the griefs you hold against your own kin; this year – this year especially – try to put them aside, at least for a few days. Go back to the old snowball globe and remember the good times, the hopes and how good it felt all together. And try to shake the globe, one more time. See how it makes you feel. And if you’re feeling angry towards yourself, if you’re feeling let down, stuck or at your rope’s end, just wait for a few days. Suspend your thoughts and allow yourself some peace. Don’t worry, you’ll still find your troubles and shortcomings and insecurities afterwards, but just lay down the arms for a brief moment. See where that leads you. Who knows? That’s the magic of Christmas after all.

There’s a movie I love to rewatch almost every Christmas - It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s stupidly common and totally cliché I know, but it embodies the same lessons and the same emotions as A Christmas Carol; you only have one life and so many people that (could) care for you. Don’t let life get in the way and take that from you. Keep the flame going. In the movie, the angel Clarence tells George Bailey that if he can make him love his life again, then he’ll earn his angel’s wings. In a way, I can imagine Thomas as a Clarence figure. Someone who’s gone against this year’s wind and helped us appreciate both the profund and the little aspects of life; someone who will not hold our hands, but also someone who will not bring us down and feed us easy and more profitable nihilism. Someone who managed to stand straight despite the personal hardships and delusions and who shows up every week to talk to us not as followers, but as peers; someone who’s always giving more than expected and asks almost nothing in return. For that, I’d like to thank him and, like in the last scene of the movie, say to him;

“Thank you for the wings, Thomas”

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.

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James's avatar

I am someone who has become hyper rational over the past few years of my life. Too rational. Too thinking orientated. I have a training in mathematics and focus on this area professionally. I am naturally prone to thinking in optimization terms. Very much the 4 hour work week model.

I have spent some of my time in lockdown reading Tolstoy. I have been struck by how he discusses the idea of faith. Faith, to a rational man, is something to be scorned. I am starting to question this more and more.

I have always loved Christmas ever since I was a child. I'm not religious anymore but I still love Christmas. Through reading Tolstoy I've realized something which what I think you're highlighting here, namely, that you should put experience ahead of thinking. I get the feeling of Christmas only when I do Christmassy things. Maybe I would feel more Christian if I started doing more Christian things? Maybe ones religion isn't something to be thought about, it's something to be lived.

Being separated from my friends and family this year due to COVID has forced me to make it Christmas myself. I have made a pudding for the first time, sent Christmas cards, given gifts in small ways to those around me that I don't know.

"That is the story I am going to leave you with today. Because that is what Christmas is all about, the transformative nature of the faith that is shown by giving away your gifts."

This line brought tears to my eyes. It is the perfect articulation of what I've been sensing over the past weeks as I finished reading Anna Karenina and have tried to make a Christmas away from home.

Thank you for your newsletters and for helping to articulate those feelings that someone like me who is more thinking orientated finds it difficult to access and pinpoint. Happy Christmas. Looking forward to more of your writing in the new year.

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