The helpless fool comes to mind. I like the way the ideas in this piece focus around our actions which are almost always also interactions. I have often conceptualised intelligence/stupidity in a static way. The 'does' part might be the most important part.
Used to start each essay section with a quote each time, kept it up through college, got many compliments for it as a stylistic touch. Suckers.
Immediately bought the book as well. If Taleb and Bevan endorse it, I'm almost certainly going to enjoy it.
Very useful mental model you're discussing here, I found his Matrix/compass and added it to my notes. Especially for businessmen.
There was a book called the Science of Getting Rich, by a Wallace D. Wattles, which is a precursor to Napoleon Hill and the Secret and all the rest of it, but there was one quote that came to mind which is:
"You are to become a creator, not a competitor; you are going to get what you want, but in such a way that when you get it every other man will have more than he has now".
The rest of the book goes into creative visualisation, law of attraction, etc, but there's a great influence focused on the importance of focusing on being creative, rather than being competitive, giving rather than taking and so on.
As far as "New Thought" goes, it's the best one I've read, which, if I'm honest, isn't many - more a curiosity driven pursuit than a desire for legitimate advice.
"It’s almost as if these self-improvement guys are Bandits and their audiences consist of the Helpless…"
Great section here, perfectly articulates the problem with the 'self-improvement' (for lack of a better term, money twitter is much worse) corner of Twitter.
Insults are generally worthless, as is criticism. Praise specifically, criticise (very) generally is the rule I go by, and never, ever offering unsolicited advice, even to friends.
Otherwise known as being "easy to get along with".
The distinction between stupid and foolish is brilliant. I'll be adjusting my verbal repartee accordingly.
Stupid feels like a straight, somewhat childish insult.
Foolish feels more sophisticated, cutting you down from a position of supreme superiority, cutting past the bone and taking a fat chunk out of the ego.
Agreed on Wisdom over Intelligence as well. I've got some negative associations with the word intelligence, but none whatsoever with wise.
"The heart of wisdom is gaining wins as you help those around you do likewise. It’s helping without allowing yourself to become helpless. It’s generosity of spirit mediated by clear boundaries. It’s the delicate balance of self-respect and respect for others. It’s what we should all be cultivating, now more than ever."
Beautiful. You could probably write a damn good self-help book, at the small cost of your soul.
Lots to take away from this, thanks for writing it Tom.
This is an excellent take all round. That ‘never, ever offer unsolicited advice, even to friends’ part is easier said than done though isn’t it? In many ways that’s what this whole newsletter venture is, though I’d like to think I’m a bit less overt than most.
And who knows maybe one day the self-help book will come (I’m laughing as I type this). But maybe someone should write a history of ‘New Thought’ even if it is mostly a history of gritting, with the few pieces of actual good advice (like Wattles’ thing on creativity that you mentioned) thrown in. But I don’t think I’m the man for that particular job.
Much, much more difficult. Especially for the obvious, easily correctable mistakes. Maybe I need to write a newsletter under an alias and send it to them.
I imagine if you did, it would be hilarious. Could be an idea for your paid newsletter - an actual compilation of your contrarian views on self-help.
Not quite anti-self help, as some of these NYT bestsellers - typically guides to "not giving a f*ck", as if it were possible for a book to bestow such a power - but a tongue-in-cheek guide to improving, while also remembering to relax a little bit, because it's not that serious after all
In many ways I think that's the ultimate aim of the newsletter in general, but could be a fun idea to mess around with all the same.
Cheers for the response Tom, I don't think I'm the man to write the 'History of "New Thought"' either, but who knows, maybe I'll get bored one day and change my mind. I'll wait to see if the Law of Attraction brings me Umberto Eco's library first I suppose.
Well, had to read it again to make sure I understood it all ! A denser newsletter than usual Thomas, thanks for the brain gymnastics.
I agree with most of it, but not so regarding the lose/lose proposition associated with the fact of calling people stupid (with a persuavive/commercial purpose). Indeed, it will cause more harm than good to the "receiving" party, but more often than not, it will be a lose-win situation: not everyone is self-conscious, not everyone has standards. People like you and I (and many others ofc) will either tell the person to fuck off or, if more enclined towards agreableness, politely smile and withdraw our attention (which is a premium currency too easily wasted on the wrong things). But many actually desire, deep inside, to be talked to like this. How many influencers and coaches insult their audience every day (and I mean INSULT, not a playful tough love banter) and are rewarded by tens of thousands of followers and customers? I cannot explain why, but there must be something related to self-loathing and the twisted desire to be humiliated and bullied into submission; trauma-bonding for guys who internalized verbal abuse and debasement and secretely get off to it. In that case, reinforcing the belief that they are stupid while telling them that only your product will "un-stupidify" them go hand in hand, and the crazy part is that many actually ask for it.
I'm also convinced that at the root of most stupidity that is not subnormal-IQ related, there is simply weakness. Which is maybe what you call "bewilderment, laxity or thoughtlessness". Weakness to learn, weakness to be willing to risk being wrong and having the courage to acknowledge it, weakness to say sorry and make amend when you wronged someone, weakness to realize you may not know it all and - in some domains of life - even be "inferior" to others. I've never met a stupid, or foolish person older than 20YO who was also bold, curious and assertive in their personal lives. And to clarify the stupid/foolish difference, I believe that you’re foolish as long as you’re ignorant of a subject. If you persist in your way when it's been proven wrong or untrue, then you (may be) stupid indeed, or delusional, which bears the same meaning to me.
But if I could remember only one piece of this beautiful newsletter, it'd be this one, "To always pursue the win/win in all scenarios is beyond just intelligent, it is at the heart of wisdom itself". Brilliantly thought and written !
I think you’re really on to something with this one. The sadomasochistic aspect of some influencers and coaches is quite a thing to behold. I can’t even really get a grip on it to be honest. But it’s both very odd and also disturbingly common (or at least not as in-rare as it should be).
I remember once reading a tweet where a guy said ‘If you don’t have x in the bank, you don’t deserve the weekend’. Maybe it’s just the way my brain works, but I instantly thought of about a dozen legitimate reasons why someone could suddenly be broke and thus apparently undeserving of a day off.
Ironically, the tough talking guys are fairly privileged if they don’t think of being suddenly laid off , of an unexpected medical bill, of owning interest in the kind of a loan you don’t get from the bank, of being robbed and so on and so forth. Must be from nice neighbourhoods. Yes, you should have an emergency fund and all of that but you should also have enough sense to delete such a silly tweet before hitting send. Unless of course it’s all about engagement rather than actually helping people for you.
Anyway. You make a good point about weakness, which ties in to my on going point here about the element of choice. Folly might be accidental, but to persist in folly eventually becomes a choice. To be born weak and inferior is a circumstance. But eventually it becomes a choice of sorts. Which is the kind of caveat and nuance you can’t get across in a tweet. Compassion for where someone starts. But also a reminder that it is no necessarily destiny. As you say, with boldness and curiosity it is impossible to stay where you are.
I thought exactly about the content creators Sebastien mentioned above, and in my experience they are "karmic bounded" to their manners still. Because whatever audience follows them, there is often another, negative audience to mock them and say they are full of s-, I mean, stupidity. Since internet world is full of niches, they keep appealing to those who are already tainted by their harsh language, but not outsiders.
(Consider Redpill movements for example.)
I also agree that learned helplessness and weakness are the root cause for these kind of lose/win and lose/lose relations to exist.
Thanks Paige. I think it’s as much a question of simple effectiveness as much as it is soaring feelings. But of course that assumes the purpose of discussion is reconciliation and reaching a mutual middle ground rather than just arguing, which sadly seems to rarely be the case at this point in time.
Still, I’m trying to create a refuge of sorts here which I guess is all that I can do.
You can't fix stupid. So to that very simplistic statement is your point about the word stupid being stupid. Why bother telling anyone? They are either truly too stupid to know and most likely won't fix it. In other easy picking cliches from movies, Forrest Gump said "My Mama always told me 'stupid is as stupid does'."
Perhaps the purpose was to help people who aren’t stupid at their core but have been known to *act* stupid to do this less often?
But sadly you are right. There is a contingent of people who are sadly goners. Also I wrote this piece a little while back before mass stupidity ramped up in the last week, which probably didn’t help my cause!
Regardless, it’s always good to hear from you Chief.
This is truly a great read. A very interesting, thought-provoking, (ego satisfying because I have been against label putting since any label sort of confines a person into a concept as opposed to being a nuanced being whether it is a way of putting someone on a pedestal or making them essentially deaf through counter productive labels).
‘If you label me, you negate me’ as Kierkegaard said. Putting a label on people (as opposed to concepts or things) has a way of stopping any productive conversation dead. It keeps people stuck in categories and echo chambers.
Thanks Jason. Wisdom is better as it doesn’t necessarily equate to just raw intelligence. As you may have experienced very intelligent people can be utterly lacking in wisdom and vice versa. In fact it takes a special level of brainpower to fall for certain types of academic and ideological nonsense.
But yes, wisdom is the key. And it is probably immeasurable. But like Justice Potter said of pornography, I know it when I see it.
The helpless fool comes to mind. I like the way the ideas in this piece focus around our actions which are almost always also interactions. I have often conceptualised intelligence/stupidity in a static way. The 'does' part might be the most important part.
Used to start each essay section with a quote each time, kept it up through college, got many compliments for it as a stylistic touch. Suckers.
Immediately bought the book as well. If Taleb and Bevan endorse it, I'm almost certainly going to enjoy it.
Very useful mental model you're discussing here, I found his Matrix/compass and added it to my notes. Especially for businessmen.
There was a book called the Science of Getting Rich, by a Wallace D. Wattles, which is a precursor to Napoleon Hill and the Secret and all the rest of it, but there was one quote that came to mind which is:
"You are to become a creator, not a competitor; you are going to get what you want, but in such a way that when you get it every other man will have more than he has now".
The rest of the book goes into creative visualisation, law of attraction, etc, but there's a great influence focused on the importance of focusing on being creative, rather than being competitive, giving rather than taking and so on.
As far as "New Thought" goes, it's the best one I've read, which, if I'm honest, isn't many - more a curiosity driven pursuit than a desire for legitimate advice.
"It’s almost as if these self-improvement guys are Bandits and their audiences consist of the Helpless…"
Great section here, perfectly articulates the problem with the 'self-improvement' (for lack of a better term, money twitter is much worse) corner of Twitter.
Insults are generally worthless, as is criticism. Praise specifically, criticise (very) generally is the rule I go by, and never, ever offering unsolicited advice, even to friends.
Otherwise known as being "easy to get along with".
The distinction between stupid and foolish is brilliant. I'll be adjusting my verbal repartee accordingly.
Stupid feels like a straight, somewhat childish insult.
Foolish feels more sophisticated, cutting you down from a position of supreme superiority, cutting past the bone and taking a fat chunk out of the ego.
Agreed on Wisdom over Intelligence as well. I've got some negative associations with the word intelligence, but none whatsoever with wise.
"The heart of wisdom is gaining wins as you help those around you do likewise. It’s helping without allowing yourself to become helpless. It’s generosity of spirit mediated by clear boundaries. It’s the delicate balance of self-respect and respect for others. It’s what we should all be cultivating, now more than ever."
Beautiful. You could probably write a damn good self-help book, at the small cost of your soul.
Lots to take away from this, thanks for writing it Tom.
This is an excellent take all round. That ‘never, ever offer unsolicited advice, even to friends’ part is easier said than done though isn’t it? In many ways that’s what this whole newsletter venture is, though I’d like to think I’m a bit less overt than most.
And who knows maybe one day the self-help book will come (I’m laughing as I type this). But maybe someone should write a history of ‘New Thought’ even if it is mostly a history of gritting, with the few pieces of actual good advice (like Wattles’ thing on creativity that you mentioned) thrown in. But I don’t think I’m the man for that particular job.
Thanks as always, Conor.
Much, much more difficult. Especially for the obvious, easily correctable mistakes. Maybe I need to write a newsletter under an alias and send it to them.
I imagine if you did, it would be hilarious. Could be an idea for your paid newsletter - an actual compilation of your contrarian views on self-help.
Not quite anti-self help, as some of these NYT bestsellers - typically guides to "not giving a f*ck", as if it were possible for a book to bestow such a power - but a tongue-in-cheek guide to improving, while also remembering to relax a little bit, because it's not that serious after all
In many ways I think that's the ultimate aim of the newsletter in general, but could be a fun idea to mess around with all the same.
Cheers for the response Tom, I don't think I'm the man to write the 'History of "New Thought"' either, but who knows, maybe I'll get bored one day and change my mind. I'll wait to see if the Law of Attraction brings me Umberto Eco's library first I suppose.
Well, had to read it again to make sure I understood it all ! A denser newsletter than usual Thomas, thanks for the brain gymnastics.
I agree with most of it, but not so regarding the lose/lose proposition associated with the fact of calling people stupid (with a persuavive/commercial purpose). Indeed, it will cause more harm than good to the "receiving" party, but more often than not, it will be a lose-win situation: not everyone is self-conscious, not everyone has standards. People like you and I (and many others ofc) will either tell the person to fuck off or, if more enclined towards agreableness, politely smile and withdraw our attention (which is a premium currency too easily wasted on the wrong things). But many actually desire, deep inside, to be talked to like this. How many influencers and coaches insult their audience every day (and I mean INSULT, not a playful tough love banter) and are rewarded by tens of thousands of followers and customers? I cannot explain why, but there must be something related to self-loathing and the twisted desire to be humiliated and bullied into submission; trauma-bonding for guys who internalized verbal abuse and debasement and secretely get off to it. In that case, reinforcing the belief that they are stupid while telling them that only your product will "un-stupidify" them go hand in hand, and the crazy part is that many actually ask for it.
I'm also convinced that at the root of most stupidity that is not subnormal-IQ related, there is simply weakness. Which is maybe what you call "bewilderment, laxity or thoughtlessness". Weakness to learn, weakness to be willing to risk being wrong and having the courage to acknowledge it, weakness to say sorry and make amend when you wronged someone, weakness to realize you may not know it all and - in some domains of life - even be "inferior" to others. I've never met a stupid, or foolish person older than 20YO who was also bold, curious and assertive in their personal lives. And to clarify the stupid/foolish difference, I believe that you’re foolish as long as you’re ignorant of a subject. If you persist in your way when it's been proven wrong or untrue, then you (may be) stupid indeed, or delusional, which bears the same meaning to me.
But if I could remember only one piece of this beautiful newsletter, it'd be this one, "To always pursue the win/win in all scenarios is beyond just intelligent, it is at the heart of wisdom itself". Brilliantly thought and written !
I think you’re really on to something with this one. The sadomasochistic aspect of some influencers and coaches is quite a thing to behold. I can’t even really get a grip on it to be honest. But it’s both very odd and also disturbingly common (or at least not as in-rare as it should be).
I remember once reading a tweet where a guy said ‘If you don’t have x in the bank, you don’t deserve the weekend’. Maybe it’s just the way my brain works, but I instantly thought of about a dozen legitimate reasons why someone could suddenly be broke and thus apparently undeserving of a day off.
Ironically, the tough talking guys are fairly privileged if they don’t think of being suddenly laid off , of an unexpected medical bill, of owning interest in the kind of a loan you don’t get from the bank, of being robbed and so on and so forth. Must be from nice neighbourhoods. Yes, you should have an emergency fund and all of that but you should also have enough sense to delete such a silly tweet before hitting send. Unless of course it’s all about engagement rather than actually helping people for you.
Anyway. You make a good point about weakness, which ties in to my on going point here about the element of choice. Folly might be accidental, but to persist in folly eventually becomes a choice. To be born weak and inferior is a circumstance. But eventually it becomes a choice of sorts. Which is the kind of caveat and nuance you can’t get across in a tweet. Compassion for where someone starts. But also a reminder that it is no necessarily destiny. As you say, with boldness and curiosity it is impossible to stay where you are.
Thanks as always, Sebastien.
I thought exactly about the content creators Sebastien mentioned above, and in my experience they are "karmic bounded" to their manners still. Because whatever audience follows them, there is often another, negative audience to mock them and say they are full of s-, I mean, stupidity. Since internet world is full of niches, they keep appealing to those who are already tainted by their harsh language, but not outsiders.
(Consider Redpill movements for example.)
I also agree that learned helplessness and weakness are the root cause for these kind of lose/win and lose/lose relations to exist.
I love the underlying theme that certain trigger words should be replaced with language that evokes a kinder and perhaps active response.
Thanks Paige. I think it’s as much a question of simple effectiveness as much as it is soaring feelings. But of course that assumes the purpose of discussion is reconciliation and reaching a mutual middle ground rather than just arguing, which sadly seems to rarely be the case at this point in time.
Still, I’m trying to create a refuge of sorts here which I guess is all that I can do.
Could it be that creating a feeling of engagement with the right language is effective?
You can't fix stupid. So to that very simplistic statement is your point about the word stupid being stupid. Why bother telling anyone? They are either truly too stupid to know and most likely won't fix it. In other easy picking cliches from movies, Forrest Gump said "My Mama always told me 'stupid is as stupid does'."
Perhaps the purpose was to help people who aren’t stupid at their core but have been known to *act* stupid to do this less often?
But sadly you are right. There is a contingent of people who are sadly goners. Also I wrote this piece a little while back before mass stupidity ramped up in the last week, which probably didn’t help my cause!
Regardless, it’s always good to hear from you Chief.
This is truly a great read. A very interesting, thought-provoking, (ego satisfying because I have been against label putting since any label sort of confines a person into a concept as opposed to being a nuanced being whether it is a way of putting someone on a pedestal or making them essentially deaf through counter productive labels).
‘If you label me, you negate me’ as Kierkegaard said. Putting a label on people (as opposed to concepts or things) has a way of stopping any productive conversation dead. It keeps people stuck in categories and echo chambers.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Kritka.
Thanks Jason. Wisdom is better as it doesn’t necessarily equate to just raw intelligence. As you may have experienced very intelligent people can be utterly lacking in wisdom and vice versa. In fact it takes a special level of brainpower to fall for certain types of academic and ideological nonsense.
But yes, wisdom is the key. And it is probably immeasurable. But like Justice Potter said of pornography, I know it when I see it.
Thanks for stopping by Jason.