The coping mechanism idea- though it has some validity- becomes a spiral. The real world becomes ‘too traumatising’ because it is neglected as people craft identities in the online world as a substitute for life. People avoid the real world and so become worse at navigating it which means they avoid the real world which means… and on and on.
This is all a risk mitigation strategy that in the end becomes incredibly risky as a vast mountain of (essentially) lies are piled up to unsustainable levels.
I don’t say this to judge, I just think this behaviour is not only encouraged by ‘the system’ (so to speak) it is now essentially the default for Gen Z. And it, I believe unhealthy, and a real component of the mental health crisis.
That is interesting. The pandemic and those images of kids being evacuated during the Blitz do seem to share something, certainly. Unknown forces, disconnection, not being able to plan for the future, the world shrinking while also being ever more large and looming and so forth.
It’s funny, I was just thinking a few hours ago how “dork” is an underused word and “mega-dork” might be one of my favorite insults. I agree with Vanya, banger of an essay - it captures the fine line between simply enjoying things and being an adult adolescent 🤌
Thanks. There are other related words- dweeb, doofus, poindexter and indeed ‘mega-dork’ that I didn’t have time to get into. And yes identifying with interests to the point that they keep you in a prolonged adolescence is the key IMO.
1. Is the root evil, or cardinal sin of dorkiness the fact that one has sadly fallen in love with the simulation/"talisman" of a once real human quality? (Marketers love it because it is easier to sell flannel shirts that convey a lumberjack than it is for one to learn to actually buck/split a simple fire pit log.) 2.Are dorks therefore a reminder of how far we as a species are falling?
Essay comment: "Dorkiness is when people willingly algorithmize themselves and sort themselves into consumer demographics to be advertised to" is almost (99%) as good as "When you find great food you will find people who know WHO they are and WHERE they are. Where you find crap food you will find people who are alienated from their own past and environment, only to be blown around by the day to day forces of whim, appetite, novelty, and advertising." Appreciative for The Commonplace. WW
Excellent call-back with that second comment. Sometimes things have a way of tying together which make it seem like I know what I’m doing (the reality is that I only have a few- admittedly important- themes that I cover over and over again).
And yes I think that both of your points are correct. At root it has something to do with the commodification of leisure and identity. I think.
Seems to me the commercialisation of adolescence goes hand-in-hand with the general avoidance of responsibility for anything other than oneself. I'm not yet crystal clear on my thoughts on this topic but reflecting on my own life, the times when I matured most are the times when I stepped into a new responsibility greater than myself.
With that responsibility comes maturity and with that you naturally drop adolescent dorkishness. I guess it's encapsulated in the idea of that if critiques of a movie are a problem for you, you don't have any real problems.
Couldn’t agree more. And the major point, as you say, is how *naturally* dorky tendencies seem to evaporate when you become busy with adult responsibilities.
Everyone has dorky tendencies or the capacity for dorkiness but it used to disappear once you left your teenage years behind. Now some people never do and arguably no one *has* to anymore. Which is a little concerning.
I avoid sport betting, it's so silly and you know people only do it to make money "the easy" way, but now instead of going to illegal betting houses they do it in the comfort of their sofas. Not that interesting if no one is coming after your mother once you lose. To grasp that even the consequences of betting were soften...
I think I get what you’re saying, but not sure. I do, like you, get a sense that we’re increasingly unskilled at the dance of social pleasantries and interaction. But I don’t yet buy the examples you put out as proof/cause, which I’m attempting to summarize as “adults liking entertainment that’s meant for kids and being highly abrasive about it to signal in-group belonging.” Couple reasons:
1. I don’t think adults displaying of fandom/possessions to signal in-group belonging is anything new. Maybe the specific objects that serve as means for adults are a bit goofier, and less discretely separate from teens. But people have been doing this stuff through cars, clothes, houses, lawn mowers, etc at least since the advent of advertising, and being just as dorky about it. (And while I’m not a historian, I’m pretty sure ridiculous social signifiers go back as far as civilization…just that they weren’t as accessible to the masses). I’m not 100% you consider this a new phenomenon, but by your examples it seemed like yes. If anything, being that way about a comic book just signals that more adults are comfortable keeping a playful, childlike part of themselves on display, and I think that’s overall a good development.
2. On the sense of entitlement ie I should be able to act however I want and automatically get respect. You could look at it another way and say that we are now held to a higher standard, and expected to not be dicks to people who express themselves “differently from the norm,” whether it’s adults with interests we think they should have outgrown or people with cultural or sexual or gender identities we’re not used to. In a sense, we’re demanding more adult behavior in the form of restraint and inclusion (as many call this, living in “cancel culture”)
Yet while I don’t really buy what you cite as proof and cause, I do see a marked downgrade in people’s willingness and ability to navigate social interactions with skill and respect. If you were to ask my immigrant mother, it’s something you especially see in America dating back to at least the 90’s. So I think you’re onto something, but I’m just not sure what yet.
Or…maybe I missed the crux of your piece. Either way, super interesting and made me think, as usual with you . Thanks for your all your writing!
The coping mechanism idea- though it has some validity- becomes a spiral. The real world becomes ‘too traumatising’ because it is neglected as people craft identities in the online world as a substitute for life. People avoid the real world and so become worse at navigating it which means they avoid the real world which means… and on and on.
This is all a risk mitigation strategy that in the end becomes incredibly risky as a vast mountain of (essentially) lies are piled up to unsustainable levels.
I don’t say this to judge, I just think this behaviour is not only encouraged by ‘the system’ (so to speak) it is now essentially the default for Gen Z. And it, I believe unhealthy, and a real component of the mental health crisis.
Thanks for this great comment.
That is interesting. The pandemic and those images of kids being evacuated during the Blitz do seem to share something, certainly. Unknown forces, disconnection, not being able to plan for the future, the world shrinking while also being ever more large and looming and so forth.
I thought the title is impeccable, but after reading, I can say that the essay itself is even more so. BANGER
Thanks Vanya, very kind of you to say. Sometimes a good (or bad) pun is what the moment calls for.
It’s funny, I was just thinking a few hours ago how “dork” is an underused word and “mega-dork” might be one of my favorite insults. I agree with Vanya, banger of an essay - it captures the fine line between simply enjoying things and being an adult adolescent 🤌
Thanks. There are other related words- dweeb, doofus, poindexter and indeed ‘mega-dork’ that I didn’t have time to get into. And yes identifying with interests to the point that they keep you in a prolonged adolescence is the key IMO.
Good one. My only quibble with the piece is that it’s not called the New Dork Times.
Idea for name stolen
Don’t blame you at all. Haha.
Knew I should have consulted the pun master before hitting Publish…
Fantastic, and agree, do your thing, whatever you like, but don't get it twisted and become "the thing".
Do the thing but don’t make a thing of the thing.
2 things:
1. Is the root evil, or cardinal sin of dorkiness the fact that one has sadly fallen in love with the simulation/"talisman" of a once real human quality? (Marketers love it because it is easier to sell flannel shirts that convey a lumberjack than it is for one to learn to actually buck/split a simple fire pit log.) 2.Are dorks therefore a reminder of how far we as a species are falling?
Essay comment: "Dorkiness is when people willingly algorithmize themselves and sort themselves into consumer demographics to be advertised to" is almost (99%) as good as "When you find great food you will find people who know WHO they are and WHERE they are. Where you find crap food you will find people who are alienated from their own past and environment, only to be blown around by the day to day forces of whim, appetite, novelty, and advertising." Appreciative for The Commonplace. WW
Excellent call-back with that second comment. Sometimes things have a way of tying together which make it seem like I know what I’m doing (the reality is that I only have a few- admittedly important- themes that I cover over and over again).
And yes I think that both of your points are correct. At root it has something to do with the commodification of leisure and identity. I think.
Seems to me the commercialisation of adolescence goes hand-in-hand with the general avoidance of responsibility for anything other than oneself. I'm not yet crystal clear on my thoughts on this topic but reflecting on my own life, the times when I matured most are the times when I stepped into a new responsibility greater than myself.
With that responsibility comes maturity and with that you naturally drop adolescent dorkishness. I guess it's encapsulated in the idea of that if critiques of a movie are a problem for you, you don't have any real problems.
Couldn’t agree more. And the major point, as you say, is how *naturally* dorky tendencies seem to evaporate when you become busy with adult responsibilities.
Everyone has dorky tendencies or the capacity for dorkiness but it used to disappear once you left your teenage years behind. Now some people never do and arguably no one *has* to anymore. Which is a little concerning.
I avoid sport betting, it's so silly and you know people only do it to make money "the easy" way, but now instead of going to illegal betting houses they do it in the comfort of their sofas. Not that interesting if no one is coming after your mother once you lose. To grasp that even the consequences of betting were soften...
I think I get what you’re saying, but not sure. I do, like you, get a sense that we’re increasingly unskilled at the dance of social pleasantries and interaction. But I don’t yet buy the examples you put out as proof/cause, which I’m attempting to summarize as “adults liking entertainment that’s meant for kids and being highly abrasive about it to signal in-group belonging.” Couple reasons:
1. I don’t think adults displaying of fandom/possessions to signal in-group belonging is anything new. Maybe the specific objects that serve as means for adults are a bit goofier, and less discretely separate from teens. But people have been doing this stuff through cars, clothes, houses, lawn mowers, etc at least since the advent of advertising, and being just as dorky about it. (And while I’m not a historian, I’m pretty sure ridiculous social signifiers go back as far as civilization…just that they weren’t as accessible to the masses). I’m not 100% you consider this a new phenomenon, but by your examples it seemed like yes. If anything, being that way about a comic book just signals that more adults are comfortable keeping a playful, childlike part of themselves on display, and I think that’s overall a good development.
2. On the sense of entitlement ie I should be able to act however I want and automatically get respect. You could look at it another way and say that we are now held to a higher standard, and expected to not be dicks to people who express themselves “differently from the norm,” whether it’s adults with interests we think they should have outgrown or people with cultural or sexual or gender identities we’re not used to. In a sense, we’re demanding more adult behavior in the form of restraint and inclusion (as many call this, living in “cancel culture”)
Yet while I don’t really buy what you cite as proof and cause, I do see a marked downgrade in people’s willingness and ability to navigate social interactions with skill and respect. If you were to ask my immigrant mother, it’s something you especially see in America dating back to at least the 90’s. So I think you’re onto something, but I’m just not sure what yet.
Or…maybe I missed the crux of your piece. Either way, super interesting and made me think, as usual with you . Thanks for your all your writing!