I'm a little late to the party, but a mention of this comments thread on Twitter brought me here. Wow, it did not disappoint. Firstly, what an eye-opening and brilliantly observant article, Tom. Then enhanced by the quality and depth of engagement of your readers (particular mention to the comments of Conor, Axel and Alicia). I'm going to leverage my own anecdotal experience but hopefully the underlying principles can be extrapolated more generally.
I think this message to relax and to consciously step outside of this hustle game cannot be said loudly enough. I believe that our compulsion towards goal achievement and continued progression can partly be explained from an existential perspective; a need to provide meaning to one's life through output and material success in the brief time we have. For me, this yearning and hyper-productivity has been exacerbated by the pandemic.
Perhaps the antidote to this is to come to terms with our mortality and to recognise the intrinsic value of existence without a need to actualise anything. Whilst I think striving to leave the world a better place for future generations is extremely important (although the pursuit of creating a long lasting personal "legacy" might be driven by egotistical desires), this article highlights the importance of living life in the moment, day-to-day (I would add, without falling into the Eckhart Tolle shame-if-you-cannot-achieve-it type mindfulness).
The approach Tom is advocating is a path towards liberation. Liberation from the tyranny of to-do lists, listening to podcasts whilst engaging during every second of free time, alarm clocks on the weekend, multitasking, weekly schedules, tracking personal metrics through apps and smart watches, more to-do lists etc. Paradoxically - as Tom succulently points out - this approach can also lead to creative inspiration and great works of art. I appreciate that scheduling a set period in the day to write can be useful, but the real creativity is to be find in idle moments of "non-thinking". Shower thoughts. This is where my best ideas have fermented and blossomed.
In many respects, this approach is analogous to certain ancient philosophies e.g. Buddhism. The anxiety and shame that comes from not feeling you're doing enough is a result of comparison with social media, 'hustle' influencers etc. We all know the fallacy of comparison. I'm reminded of Immanuel Kant's maxim to never treat a person as a means to an end, but as an end in and of themselves. We ought to apply the same rationale to our own selves, and to engage in activities as ends in themselves. In this vain, I really liked Conor's daily ritual of forgiveness.
Thank you, Tom (and all the wonderful comments on this thread). These words could not be more timely and welcome. I will endeavour to adopt this lifestyle. It goes against my natural instincts, but perhaps these "natural instincts" are merely a conditioned state. With maturity comes the realisation that wisdom is the un-learning of many things, and that removing things tends to bestow far greater utility than adding things (Nassim Taleb's idea of via negativa).
My only question - which I would love to open to the floor - is how we can create the financial leverage (in an ideal world, obtaining f**k you money) in order to free ourselves from the Catch-22 work environment that imposes this Misery Tax? A very small percentage of creatives may strike gold in gaining traction and achieving such financial liberation, but it appears that an unbalanced workload is required to some degree in order to create such a space in one's life (using Taleb again as an example, he worked as a quant trader for a decade - hardly a docile industry).
Thanks you for the kind words good Doctor. And thank you for taking the time to comment.
Yes, I think this particular essay is one of my most helpful ones to date. People so often try to solve their problems by doing more of the same (working longer hours in a job they don’t like to make money to not have to do it so much).
This is set-defeating as the Misery Tax gets higher this way. What people who want to change their lives need is time and breathing space to think and imagine a new life. And this nearly always involves working less.
I think one or two people may have had a lightbulb flash as a result of this one. I hope so anyway.
Thanks for stopping by, I hope to hear from you again soon.
This was such a great and terrifyingly relatable post. Thankfully, I never got trapped in the "misery tax," since from an early age I saw modern escapism for what it is. However, I still went through periods where I tried to stupidly overcome a miserable state in my life with "hard work."
To be honest, this post is so good that I feel as if I don't have much to add to it haha. Defnitely one I'll be rereading often in the future.
Great article Tom. Funny when you think of it, but the business of misery tax (low qual entertainment, booze, pills, drugs, nightclubs etc.) can only evolve and develop as much as the "hustling"/success mentality also evolves. Because if you don't feel like you're missing out on something big, you don't need the crutch of the misery tax. 40 years ago, the average desk clerk didn't feel like his life was shit. He had a wife, couple kids, paid holidays and everything was OK, if not great. Nowadays, (a)social networks and a 24/7 orbital strike of success porn has changed that. So the misery tax also increased tenfold.
The irony is that the extroverted super-gurus of Twitter and SV talk about things they don't really understand; when they yell at you about motivation, keep in mind that they don't know what they're talking about, cause they've always been über-competitive and high-energy. Sure, they may have had a few lows, been dumped by their wife and lost a few companies on the way. But they've actually never had the mental construction of the people they're talking to. So they can only tell you what they "think" the process to unstuck yourself is. And usually, it's just motivation porn and shame-induced self-depreciation (thanks the US protestant ethos for that). If there's such a huge business of motivation nowadays, it is because like God and women, nobody can come up with a scientific irrefutable theory about it; so everyone "can" be right and from there, it just becomes a persuasion game. And guess what they're selling ? More of their own misery tax.
Willpower can only come from within, and it can only come from a rested and a clear mind which has time to wander and make its own conclusions. The solution is not to clutter it and replace the occasional beer with friends by a Jocko podcast marathon or a $2000 subscription to the mindset group of the latest guru. Anyway. I digress too much.
Great article Tom. Funny when you think of it, but the business of misery tax (low qual entertainment, booze, pills, drugs, nightclubs etc.) can only evolve and develop as much as the "hustling"/success mentality also evolves. Because if you don't feel like you're missing out on something big, you don't need the crutch of the misery tax. 40 years ago, the average desk clerk didn't feel like his life was shit. He had a wife, couple kids, paid holidays and everything was OK, if not great. Nowadays, (a)social networks and a 24/7 orbital strike of success porn has changed that. So the misery tax also increased tenfold.
The irony is that the extroverted super-gurus of Twitter and SV talk about things they don't really understand; when they yell at you about motivation, keep in mind that they don't know what they're talking about, cause they've always been über-competitive and high-energy. Sure, they may have had a few lows, been dumped by their wife and lost a few companies on the way. But they've actually never had the mental construction of the people they're talking to. So they can only tell you what they "think" the process to unstuck yourself is. And usually, it's just motivation porn and shame-induced self-depreciation (thanks the US protestant ethos for that). If there's such a huge business of motivation nowadays, it is because like God and women, nobody can come up with a scientific irrefutable theory about it; so everyone "can" be right and from there, it just becomes a persuasion game. And guess what they're selling ? More of their own misery tax.
"Willpower can only come from within, and it can only come from a rested and a clear mind which has time to wander and make its own conclusions. The solution is not to clutter it and replace the occasional beer with friends by a Jocko podcast marathon or a $2000 subscription to the mindset group of the latest guru"
You said it better than I ever could. Great comment.
I don’t think you digress enough, Sebastien. I think you should digress more.
This was a great reply, plenty of food for thought (arguably more than was included in the original newsletter above) .
But, yeah I definitely think that social media etc has lead to a hyperinflation in the Misery Tax. It’s the whole ‘affluenza’ phenomenon, the whole advertising stoking FOMO and keeping up with the Jones’ behaviour until it has become a chronic arms race and the average citizen feels beset at all sides.
Which is why, as you say, the only way out is to block out all the noise and relax, perhaps for the first time ever. And then you will see it is all mostly a mirage and the conclusion that your reach on your own is that you don’t need for much and that the things you do need for can be easily achieved.
Thanks again, Sebastien. These comments from you and Conor make me want to up my game.
I think there's a great article to write about the role of religion in all that. Let me explain: the original gurus and motivational coaches were the priests you'd see every Sunday or just from time to time for counsel and life advice. They wouldn't say you were a failure and a fuckup, but they would hold yourself to higher standards and tell you that there was redemption and purpose to find in the arms of God. Now, some men do not need that to make their place in the world but for the majority of us, transcendence does not come from within (call it weakness, lack of willpower or whatever), it has to be imposed. The common man needs guidance, he begs for it. And since we've deprived him of it, he wanders alone and confused in the wasteland.
Do you think the cathedral builders would have spent 20+ years breaking their backs in the cold to build something they'd never see achieved in their lifetime if they were not motivated by a superior power? If you believed that you would be judged at the end of your life and access to the paradise would be granted or denied based on how you lived, would you really take the risk to idle, lie and blow coke on the weekends? If you were convinced that a superior power was watching over you every second of your life, would you necessary feel alone, depressed and would you "let go" that easily ?
I'm not saying it was only a good thing. I'm just saying that the new gurus, social media moguls and the like just filled the void (not a particularly original and newsbreaking statement) and substituting the old outer-transcendence with a new one, that is more dangerous and damaging IMO.
Brought to mind another Taleb quote "Only in recent history has “working hard” signaled pride rather than shame for lack of talent, finesse and, mostly, sprezzatura.” I've never really understood when I would hear people brag about how many hours they spent in the library studying, or working. Why spend 6 hours, when you could finish it in 2 and spend the rest of the time doing something worthwhile. For example, moving to a different corner of the library to read something more interesting.
I think "If you keep treating yourself as a slave, as someone unworthy of respect or care or love then this will manifest in your demeanour and actions and therefore your results." is a perfect sentence to explain the damaging effects of hustle culture. Something that a lot of people need to hear.
Another huge problem with the "movement" is that most of the time it encourages action above all else, and action without direction is completely ineffective. Most of us would be far better off taking the approach outlined further on: Chill out. Take some time to think and relax. Explore some ideas, without judgement or pressure, then when one feels right, go and do it. It won't take as much effort to do so when you do.
As much as the message is directed towards the creative types (which I would argue includes most successful entrepreneurs - a word that I now unfortunately have a truckload of negative connotations with thanks to twitter), I think it holds true for any worthwhile endeavor, even the pursuit of a big pile of f*ck you money.
Great piece all the same, looking forward to the next one.
Fantastic comment yet again, Conor. I know I have said this previously but I feel that I need to re-emphasis that it is always a delight to read your analysis on these newsletters. I also believe that it does the casual reader a great lot of good also. So once again, thank you.
In reference to hustle culture, though I am temperamentally against the idea of hard work I generally say ‘each to their own’ when I see people who are clearly just wired that way, so to speak. I am not interested in pushing my way of life at the expense of others per se.
What *does* bother me about parts of hustle culture is that masochistic element. Where the leader calls the audience weak and pathetic and says that they don’t deserve certain things until a certain financial or body fat percentage goal is hit. This is damaging. Not the generally sensible and worthwhile goal but the mentality that comes packaged with it:
I am unworthy. I am incomplete. My self worth is tied to certain metrics.
Part of this is just the guru tapping into certain emotional resonances to drum up sales. If asked one-to-one I’m sure the guru would say this was not there intention and that they were using tough love to spur change.
Well, this is ineffective and damaging as I say. It gets engagement but it doesn’t so much real long term good in the aggregate.
On the other hand, telling people to calm down, to relax, to forgive themselves and let go of guilt creates breathing space. And as with boredom (as we have previously discussed) this space often sees the of rush of neglected problems and damage. But at least they are not being run away from.
And it is only after such things are finally faced that the good life- however the individual chooses to define it- can be achieved.
I can see that you don't push your way of life on others, and I greatly admire that. It seems to be an incredibly rare thing these days, as everyone feels that the way they do something is how everyone should do something.
And like you mentioned, pain sells better than pleasure, always has, so it's a nice easy one to tap into, and particularly effective when dealing with someone who already has low self-esteem and self-worth, as they feel that they deserve it.
The practice of forgiving yourself, whether that be out loud or just mentally, is a practice I adopted in the evenings after reading an email by Tej Dosa (really interesting cat, worth checking out if you haven't already), and it's been a wonderfully effective way of relaxing my mind before bed.
Forgiving yourself for not being ultra-productive, for watching nonsense on Youtube instead of reading, for drinking the fifth cup of coffee - whatever the "mistake" that didn't fit with your desired/ideal way of living, as well as forgiving your friends, family, even complete strangers. Go through the mental process of forgiving all of them (and really try to mean it) and tell me that you don't immediately feel more relaxed and at peace with the world.
I love the point you mentioned as well about the neglected problems and damage only coming to the surface after we take that time to simply be alone with ourselves and our thoughts, which is an absolutely vital part of growing as a person I feel.
Perhaps the main reason we need these constant distractions playing at all times - music, netflix, youtube, podcasts etc - is because they makes us feel a little less alone.
Great article as always, and I'm happy to hear you enjoy reading my comments. I even managed to get some great book recommendations from it, even if it only means that my list of books to read grows longer. For every one I read it seems two are added. Such is life.
Thanks Conor. Yeah, reading lists grow exponentially but books can only be read lineally. Hence the spiralling out of control!
I absolute think hyper stimulation is a reaction to loneliness and it is also a cause of loneliness. It’s a vicious cycle which (not ignoring individual culpability) I blame on the Silicon Valley overlords once again.
The platform is created, everyone migrates there, reality and socialisation then becomes neglected and so the platform then becomes indispensable and to leave means courting isolation. It’s the Walmart Effect which I discussed in a previous issue here.
Tej has been mentioned to my several times recently. From divergent sources and via coincidences. I pay attention to such serendipities. And from what I gather he absolutely seems like one of the good guys, so to speak.
Thanks for the great comment, Alicia, and as this is the first time I’ve seen your name in the comments let me say ‘welcome aboard’. Hopefully I’ll be hearing more from your hustle culture detox as we proceed along. I think people need to hear more accounts like this.
I think one of the major contributors to this hustle burnout (and unhappiness) generally is not having any breathing space in life. Starting from childhood we are put on the productivity path with homework and exams and extracurricular activities and resume boosting competitive ‘hobbies’. This mentality then naturally transfers to career and health goals in adulthood. Work, work, work. And because this is all we know, when things get bad we try and work our way out of it.
But when you are in a hole, the first step is to stop digging.
You are in a very good position, Alicia. You have saved up enough cash to actually have that breathing space. It will be transformative. As long as you don’t consume motivational videos and set yourself goals. Just introspect. Journals and long walks. Old films. Catch ups with friends. Nature. Cooking. Taking care of yourself.
As some one who has gone through the same process, I will say just relax and let all of the school-taught timetabling and frantic goal setting melt away. Then the answers will come. You’re going to have a great time.
That is great to hear Alicia. It takes a while to calm down from the hustle culture bromides. And from the prevailing attitude that working hard will always solve life’s problems. Despite being temperamentally blessed with a relative lack of work ethic, I have still imbibed quite a lot of these messages, especially since the internet became professionalised and monetised with the advent of YouTube and social media. It takes time, and no little courage to go against the grain of this messaging. It’s everywhere.
Which makes me think I should write about it more. I’m reluctant to become a one trick pony, or to tie myself into a neat theme (this is one step further along the road of turning your life into a ‘brand’) but people do seem to be responding to this idea that hustle is damaging to many. We’ll see.
Anyway, thanks for getting in touch and I hope you enjoy the exciting time of freedom, opportunity and recovery that awaits you. As you have time on your hands, consider reading ‘The Importance of Living’ by Lin Yutang. It will resonate with your current change of heart.
Sounds like a fantastic idea. Sometimes you have to ‘give up’ before you begin. I know this sounds backwards.
Ideas, intuitions and visions come when you create a space for them. Most of our lives are far too noisy and crowded. We try too hard. Don’t ‘try’. Create that breathing space and take care of the simple basics and the ideas will come to you.
Power is always better than Force.
(Check our David Hawkins’ book Power vs Force for more on this)
I couldn’t agree more with that sentiment. And I’m sure Mr Dosa would agree with my idea that first treating yourself as someone who actually care for and like and respect is the first step to moving forward.
And that rather than always pushing and striving, it is in fact only when you start to take it easy that things start to come to *you*
This distinction is the difference between power and force. Force is a crude, one directional, low vibration instrument. Power is much more versatile and higher level.
This idea comes from Hawkin’s esoteric classic ‘Power vs Force’
I'm a little late to the party, but a mention of this comments thread on Twitter brought me here. Wow, it did not disappoint. Firstly, what an eye-opening and brilliantly observant article, Tom. Then enhanced by the quality and depth of engagement of your readers (particular mention to the comments of Conor, Axel and Alicia). I'm going to leverage my own anecdotal experience but hopefully the underlying principles can be extrapolated more generally.
I think this message to relax and to consciously step outside of this hustle game cannot be said loudly enough. I believe that our compulsion towards goal achievement and continued progression can partly be explained from an existential perspective; a need to provide meaning to one's life through output and material success in the brief time we have. For me, this yearning and hyper-productivity has been exacerbated by the pandemic.
Perhaps the antidote to this is to come to terms with our mortality and to recognise the intrinsic value of existence without a need to actualise anything. Whilst I think striving to leave the world a better place for future generations is extremely important (although the pursuit of creating a long lasting personal "legacy" might be driven by egotistical desires), this article highlights the importance of living life in the moment, day-to-day (I would add, without falling into the Eckhart Tolle shame-if-you-cannot-achieve-it type mindfulness).
The approach Tom is advocating is a path towards liberation. Liberation from the tyranny of to-do lists, listening to podcasts whilst engaging during every second of free time, alarm clocks on the weekend, multitasking, weekly schedules, tracking personal metrics through apps and smart watches, more to-do lists etc. Paradoxically - as Tom succulently points out - this approach can also lead to creative inspiration and great works of art. I appreciate that scheduling a set period in the day to write can be useful, but the real creativity is to be find in idle moments of "non-thinking". Shower thoughts. This is where my best ideas have fermented and blossomed.
In many respects, this approach is analogous to certain ancient philosophies e.g. Buddhism. The anxiety and shame that comes from not feeling you're doing enough is a result of comparison with social media, 'hustle' influencers etc. We all know the fallacy of comparison. I'm reminded of Immanuel Kant's maxim to never treat a person as a means to an end, but as an end in and of themselves. We ought to apply the same rationale to our own selves, and to engage in activities as ends in themselves. In this vain, I really liked Conor's daily ritual of forgiveness.
Thank you, Tom (and all the wonderful comments on this thread). These words could not be more timely and welcome. I will endeavour to adopt this lifestyle. It goes against my natural instincts, but perhaps these "natural instincts" are merely a conditioned state. With maturity comes the realisation that wisdom is the un-learning of many things, and that removing things tends to bestow far greater utility than adding things (Nassim Taleb's idea of via negativa).
My only question - which I would love to open to the floor - is how we can create the financial leverage (in an ideal world, obtaining f**k you money) in order to free ourselves from the Catch-22 work environment that imposes this Misery Tax? A very small percentage of creatives may strike gold in gaining traction and achieving such financial liberation, but it appears that an unbalanced workload is required to some degree in order to create such a space in one's life (using Taleb again as an example, he worked as a quant trader for a decade - hardly a docile industry).
This is great. It worth rereading every weekend.
Thanks you for the kind words good Doctor. And thank you for taking the time to comment.
Yes, I think this particular essay is one of my most helpful ones to date. People so often try to solve their problems by doing more of the same (working longer hours in a job they don’t like to make money to not have to do it so much).
This is set-defeating as the Misery Tax gets higher this way. What people who want to change their lives need is time and breathing space to think and imagine a new life. And this nearly always involves working less.
I think one or two people may have had a lightbulb flash as a result of this one. I hope so anyway.
Thanks for stopping by, I hope to hear from you again soon.
This was such a great and terrifyingly relatable post. Thankfully, I never got trapped in the "misery tax," since from an early age I saw modern escapism for what it is. However, I still went through periods where I tried to stupidly overcome a miserable state in my life with "hard work."
To be honest, this post is so good that I feel as if I don't have much to add to it haha. Defnitely one I'll be rereading often in the future.
Anything worth reading is worth re-reading. And writing something that fits this criteria is my aim.
Thanks Deep.
Great article Tom. Funny when you think of it, but the business of misery tax (low qual entertainment, booze, pills, drugs, nightclubs etc.) can only evolve and develop as much as the "hustling"/success mentality also evolves. Because if you don't feel like you're missing out on something big, you don't need the crutch of the misery tax. 40 years ago, the average desk clerk didn't feel like his life was shit. He had a wife, couple kids, paid holidays and everything was OK, if not great. Nowadays, (a)social networks and a 24/7 orbital strike of success porn has changed that. So the misery tax also increased tenfold.
The irony is that the extroverted super-gurus of Twitter and SV talk about things they don't really understand; when they yell at you about motivation, keep in mind that they don't know what they're talking about, cause they've always been über-competitive and high-energy. Sure, they may have had a few lows, been dumped by their wife and lost a few companies on the way. But they've actually never had the mental construction of the people they're talking to. So they can only tell you what they "think" the process to unstuck yourself is. And usually, it's just motivation porn and shame-induced self-depreciation (thanks the US protestant ethos for that). If there's such a huge business of motivation nowadays, it is because like God and women, nobody can come up with a scientific irrefutable theory about it; so everyone "can" be right and from there, it just becomes a persuasion game. And guess what they're selling ? More of their own misery tax.
Willpower can only come from within, and it can only come from a rested and a clear mind which has time to wander and make its own conclusions. The solution is not to clutter it and replace the occasional beer with friends by a Jocko podcast marathon or a $2000 subscription to the mindset group of the latest guru. Anyway. I digress too much.
Sebastien3 hrLiked by Thomas J Bevan
Great article Tom. Funny when you think of it, but the business of misery tax (low qual entertainment, booze, pills, drugs, nightclubs etc.) can only evolve and develop as much as the "hustling"/success mentality also evolves. Because if you don't feel like you're missing out on something big, you don't need the crutch of the misery tax. 40 years ago, the average desk clerk didn't feel like his life was shit. He had a wife, couple kids, paid holidays and everything was OK, if not great. Nowadays, (a)social networks and a 24/7 orbital strike of success porn has changed that. So the misery tax also increased tenfold.
The irony is that the extroverted super-gurus of Twitter and SV talk about things they don't really understand; when they yell at you about motivation, keep in mind that they don't know what they're talking about, cause they've always been über-competitive and high-energy. Sure, they may have had a few lows, been dumped by their wife and lost a few companies on the way. But they've actually never had the mental construction of the people they're talking to. So they can only tell you what they "think" the process to unstuck yourself is. And usually, it's just motivation porn and shame-induced self-depreciation (thanks the US protestant ethos for that). If there's such a huge business of motivation nowadays, it is because like God and women, nobody can come up with a scientific irrefutable theory about it; so everyone "can" be right and from there, it just becomes a persuasion game. And guess what they're selling ? More of their own misery tax.
"Willpower can only come from within, and it can only come from a rested and a clear mind which has time to wander and make its own conclusions. The solution is not to clutter it and replace the occasional beer with friends by a Jocko podcast marathon or a $2000 subscription to the mindset group of the latest guru"
You said it better than I ever could. Great comment.
I don’t think you digress enough, Sebastien. I think you should digress more.
This was a great reply, plenty of food for thought (arguably more than was included in the original newsletter above) .
But, yeah I definitely think that social media etc has lead to a hyperinflation in the Misery Tax. It’s the whole ‘affluenza’ phenomenon, the whole advertising stoking FOMO and keeping up with the Jones’ behaviour until it has become a chronic arms race and the average citizen feels beset at all sides.
Which is why, as you say, the only way out is to block out all the noise and relax, perhaps for the first time ever. And then you will see it is all mostly a mirage and the conclusion that your reach on your own is that you don’t need for much and that the things you do need for can be easily achieved.
Thanks again, Sebastien. These comments from you and Conor make me want to up my game.
Tom.
I think there's a great article to write about the role of religion in all that. Let me explain: the original gurus and motivational coaches were the priests you'd see every Sunday or just from time to time for counsel and life advice. They wouldn't say you were a failure and a fuckup, but they would hold yourself to higher standards and tell you that there was redemption and purpose to find in the arms of God. Now, some men do not need that to make their place in the world but for the majority of us, transcendence does not come from within (call it weakness, lack of willpower or whatever), it has to be imposed. The common man needs guidance, he begs for it. And since we've deprived him of it, he wanders alone and confused in the wasteland.
Do you think the cathedral builders would have spent 20+ years breaking their backs in the cold to build something they'd never see achieved in their lifetime if they were not motivated by a superior power? If you believed that you would be judged at the end of your life and access to the paradise would be granted or denied based on how you lived, would you really take the risk to idle, lie and blow coke on the weekends? If you were convinced that a superior power was watching over you every second of your life, would you necessary feel alone, depressed and would you "let go" that easily ?
I'm not saying it was only a good thing. I'm just saying that the new gurus, social media moguls and the like just filled the void (not a particularly original and newsbreaking statement) and substituting the old outer-transcendence with a new one, that is more dangerous and damaging IMO.
No apology needed. You and I are on the same page. And I hope that maybe future readers will see your comment and be spurred on to action.
I have made no secret of my leaving social media and my desire to inspire others to do so too.
As you said : ‘To avoid infomania and round out ones character you have to transcend the platform and content’
I couldn’t agree more. This is the solution to people’s problems. This is what *actual* self improvement looks like in 2020.
Thanks for the comment Axel.
A wonderfully unique take on the idea.
Brought to mind another Taleb quote "Only in recent history has “working hard” signaled pride rather than shame for lack of talent, finesse and, mostly, sprezzatura.” I've never really understood when I would hear people brag about how many hours they spent in the library studying, or working. Why spend 6 hours, when you could finish it in 2 and spend the rest of the time doing something worthwhile. For example, moving to a different corner of the library to read something more interesting.
I think "If you keep treating yourself as a slave, as someone unworthy of respect or care or love then this will manifest in your demeanour and actions and therefore your results." is a perfect sentence to explain the damaging effects of hustle culture. Something that a lot of people need to hear.
Another huge problem with the "movement" is that most of the time it encourages action above all else, and action without direction is completely ineffective. Most of us would be far better off taking the approach outlined further on: Chill out. Take some time to think and relax. Explore some ideas, without judgement or pressure, then when one feels right, go and do it. It won't take as much effort to do so when you do.
As much as the message is directed towards the creative types (which I would argue includes most successful entrepreneurs - a word that I now unfortunately have a truckload of negative connotations with thanks to twitter), I think it holds true for any worthwhile endeavor, even the pursuit of a big pile of f*ck you money.
Great piece all the same, looking forward to the next one.
Fantastic comment yet again, Conor. I know I have said this previously but I feel that I need to re-emphasis that it is always a delight to read your analysis on these newsletters. I also believe that it does the casual reader a great lot of good also. So once again, thank you.
In reference to hustle culture, though I am temperamentally against the idea of hard work I generally say ‘each to their own’ when I see people who are clearly just wired that way, so to speak. I am not interested in pushing my way of life at the expense of others per se.
What *does* bother me about parts of hustle culture is that masochistic element. Where the leader calls the audience weak and pathetic and says that they don’t deserve certain things until a certain financial or body fat percentage goal is hit. This is damaging. Not the generally sensible and worthwhile goal but the mentality that comes packaged with it:
I am unworthy. I am incomplete. My self worth is tied to certain metrics.
Part of this is just the guru tapping into certain emotional resonances to drum up sales. If asked one-to-one I’m sure the guru would say this was not there intention and that they were using tough love to spur change.
Well, this is ineffective and damaging as I say. It gets engagement but it doesn’t so much real long term good in the aggregate.
On the other hand, telling people to calm down, to relax, to forgive themselves and let go of guilt creates breathing space. And as with boredom (as we have previously discussed) this space often sees the of rush of neglected problems and damage. But at least they are not being run away from.
And it is only after such things are finally faced that the good life- however the individual chooses to define it- can be achieved.
Whether that features f*ck you money or not.
Tom.
I can see that you don't push your way of life on others, and I greatly admire that. It seems to be an incredibly rare thing these days, as everyone feels that the way they do something is how everyone should do something.
And like you mentioned, pain sells better than pleasure, always has, so it's a nice easy one to tap into, and particularly effective when dealing with someone who already has low self-esteem and self-worth, as they feel that they deserve it.
The practice of forgiving yourself, whether that be out loud or just mentally, is a practice I adopted in the evenings after reading an email by Tej Dosa (really interesting cat, worth checking out if you haven't already), and it's been a wonderfully effective way of relaxing my mind before bed.
Forgiving yourself for not being ultra-productive, for watching nonsense on Youtube instead of reading, for drinking the fifth cup of coffee - whatever the "mistake" that didn't fit with your desired/ideal way of living, as well as forgiving your friends, family, even complete strangers. Go through the mental process of forgiving all of them (and really try to mean it) and tell me that you don't immediately feel more relaxed and at peace with the world.
I love the point you mentioned as well about the neglected problems and damage only coming to the surface after we take that time to simply be alone with ourselves and our thoughts, which is an absolutely vital part of growing as a person I feel.
Perhaps the main reason we need these constant distractions playing at all times - music, netflix, youtube, podcasts etc - is because they makes us feel a little less alone.
Great article as always, and I'm happy to hear you enjoy reading my comments. I even managed to get some great book recommendations from it, even if it only means that my list of books to read grows longer. For every one I read it seems two are added. Such is life.
Thanks Conor. Yeah, reading lists grow exponentially but books can only be read lineally. Hence the spiralling out of control!
I absolute think hyper stimulation is a reaction to loneliness and it is also a cause of loneliness. It’s a vicious cycle which (not ignoring individual culpability) I blame on the Silicon Valley overlords once again.
The platform is created, everyone migrates there, reality and socialisation then becomes neglected and so the platform then becomes indispensable and to leave means courting isolation. It’s the Walmart Effect which I discussed in a previous issue here.
Tej has been mentioned to my several times recently. From divergent sources and via coincidences. I pay attention to such serendipities. And from what I gather he absolutely seems like one of the good guys, so to speak.
Thanks once again for taking the time, Conor.
Tom.
Never heard of single one of those books, which is fantastic, thank you.
I'll check them out.
That last one especially sound right up my alley. I could see that becoming the topic of one of these newsletters at some point in the future.
Thank you.
Thanks for the great comment, Alicia, and as this is the first time I’ve seen your name in the comments let me say ‘welcome aboard’. Hopefully I’ll be hearing more from your hustle culture detox as we proceed along. I think people need to hear more accounts like this.
I think one of the major contributors to this hustle burnout (and unhappiness) generally is not having any breathing space in life. Starting from childhood we are put on the productivity path with homework and exams and extracurricular activities and resume boosting competitive ‘hobbies’. This mentality then naturally transfers to career and health goals in adulthood. Work, work, work. And because this is all we know, when things get bad we try and work our way out of it.
But when you are in a hole, the first step is to stop digging.
You are in a very good position, Alicia. You have saved up enough cash to actually have that breathing space. It will be transformative. As long as you don’t consume motivational videos and set yourself goals. Just introspect. Journals and long walks. Old films. Catch ups with friends. Nature. Cooking. Taking care of yourself.
As some one who has gone through the same process, I will say just relax and let all of the school-taught timetabling and frantic goal setting melt away. Then the answers will come. You’re going to have a great time.
Tom.
That is great to hear Alicia. It takes a while to calm down from the hustle culture bromides. And from the prevailing attitude that working hard will always solve life’s problems. Despite being temperamentally blessed with a relative lack of work ethic, I have still imbibed quite a lot of these messages, especially since the internet became professionalised and monetised with the advent of YouTube and social media. It takes time, and no little courage to go against the grain of this messaging. It’s everywhere.
Which makes me think I should write about it more. I’m reluctant to become a one trick pony, or to tie myself into a neat theme (this is one step further along the road of turning your life into a ‘brand’) but people do seem to be responding to this idea that hustle is damaging to many. We’ll see.
Anyway, thanks for getting in touch and I hope you enjoy the exciting time of freedom, opportunity and recovery that awaits you. As you have time on your hands, consider reading ‘The Importance of Living’ by Lin Yutang. It will resonate with your current change of heart.
Tom.
Sounds like a fantastic idea. Sometimes you have to ‘give up’ before you begin. I know this sounds backwards.
Ideas, intuitions and visions come when you create a space for them. Most of our lives are far too noisy and crowded. We try too hard. Don’t ‘try’. Create that breathing space and take care of the simple basics and the ideas will come to you.
Power is always better than Force.
(Check our David Hawkins’ book Power vs Force for more on this)
Great advice. Branding is for livestock after all.
Happy reading, I’m sure you’re going to love your new book. My writing can always improve, but my book recommending skills are world class!
Tom.
This could be a contender for a tag line for these newsletters.
Thank you for your comment, Axel.
I couldn’t agree more with that sentiment. And I’m sure Mr Dosa would agree with my idea that first treating yourself as someone who actually care for and like and respect is the first step to moving forward.
And that rather than always pushing and striving, it is in fact only when you start to take it easy that things start to come to *you*
This distinction is the difference between power and force. Force is a crude, one directional, low vibration instrument. Power is much more versatile and higher level.
This idea comes from Hawkin’s esoteric classic ‘Power vs Force’